personality & history

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Personality

Full of sarcastic and bitter energy, Absinthe can be quite the force to be reckoned with. She's driven, melodramatic, passionate and fiercely independent - but can be lonely. While she may not walk the lightest of paths, she does have her moral limits. Absinthe isn't afraid to get into some thievery, manipulation and shameless sexual relations, but she draws the line at murder.. and that's about it. She's typically full of energy and determination, but can tend to overreact a bit to things and becomes easily offended if you insult her work. And while she is at least a little intelligent, Absinthe can still get caught up in things and be rather reckless. Despite all her energy, she still takes a lot of things seriously and finds "silly" behavior to be a waste of time. It takes quite a bit to win her loyalty and she's likely to stab you in the back for funsies, but once she finds her friends, she keeps them. Absinthe is also frequently shifting between how she views herself and may range between being disgusted with her body to feeling she just isn't in the correct sex. It can vary on the day or how she feels, but she encourages others to refer to her as both he or she, sometimes only introducing herself as one or the other and sometimes as both. (And being coated in furs that hide the obvious answer, sometimes she may choose to be nothing.)

There is one side to her that's a little different than the rest, being that she isn't entirely mentally stable. Ever since she took her first breath, she's had difficulty staying grounded in reality. She is fully functional, but tends to hallucinate and face other symptoms if she isn't totally grounded. It's possible for her to become too caught up in her work and lose sight of what's truly reality as well. The further she goes, the worse the hallucinations get and it can take quite a lot of energy out of her or even leave her in dangerous situations. Sometimes paranoia can slip in or she returns to the belief that she is a powerful, spiritual being. Sometimes it's depression or angry outlashes with no other emotion to be found. Absinthe tries her best to keep this side on the down-low, as she can handle it, but she worries others may try to take advantage of her condition. As she's dealt with these things her whole life, she's created a method to understanding when things are happening and working them out instead of exploding. She's never let her loose-line to reality get in her way, though. If Absinthe wants something, she works her ass off to get it.

History

Things weren't so great before Absinthe was born. Her mother didn't know who the father was and was blatantly lying to her mate about it. She had a silky chestnut coat, he had a brilliant sorrel coat. When Absinthe was born, there was a problem. At first, they argued over it. Day in and day out, Absinthe's mother stuck to the story of she had no idea why the foal looked nothing like either of them. This lasted quite some time, but the two had such a strong physical relationship that they wouldn't separate. Eventually, a wandering, roughed up mare stumbled into their little home. The stranger claimed that the young foal possessed the markings of a goddess and was a miracle, not an act of a cheating partner. Absinthe's mother jumped on board with this theory and insisted it must be true, going so far as to asking this old mare to stay around and help the child realize her full goddess potential. The mare gladly agreed and began to live with the couple. Absinthe's parents were glad to have a babysitter and they began to leave their foal for longer and longer periods of time with this old mare.

Absinthe grew up knowing only her flaky parents and a crazy old lady who worshiped the ground she walked on. As she reached a little over a year old, her parents began to wander farther and take longer to return. The old mare who'd been taking care of her (otherwise known as Gran) began to grow tired and a bit lazy as she aged. This meant Gran often slept the days away or would fall asleep mid-teaching. Absinthe absolutely did not care. Whenever Gran would sleep, Absinthe would slip away. If she was feeling good, she'd go screw around in the woods. If she was struggling, she'd often wade into the river or end up getting lost without realizing it. Sometimes, she'd be gone for days on end and either not remember it or be in such a state that she didn't realize the danger. Whenever she came back, she'd tell Gran that she was dealing with important visions. Gran encouraged these and whenever Absinthe was struck with fear from a current hallucination, Gran would insist they were spiritual encounters. The old mare would declare them great things and a sign that Absinthe is truly the goddess. Absinthe, however, didn't share the same kind of joy. She'd often lose sleep for days on end and became quite the insomniac for a while.

When Absinthe finally became an adult, Gran offered up some great presents for the goddess's coming of age. Some pelts which Gran insisted were the guardian animals that Absinthe must keep with her at all times. Absinthe didn't really care, but they looked cool, so she'd keep them. Over time, she developed names for each of the skins and began to feel naked if she didn't have them strewn over her own hide. Gran continued to teach Absinthe of different plants and their uses to heal or hinder others. Now this was interesting, so the youth soaked up all the information she could. The teachings were going well until Gran introduced the entire 'summoning' aspect of it. It required intense rituals and memorization, which Absinthe had to work on relentlessly to perfect. At first, she didn't believe in any of the boring rituals. It took until one night when she was feeling particularly frustrated, that she attempted a summoning and when finished, called out to ask any 'demons' to make her parents pay attention to her. Well, come next morning, her mother came rushing back all cut up. She said that wolves had attacked her and Absinthe's father, leaving her wounded and him dead. The attack had made her realize how much she loved Absinthe and wanted to be in the youth's life. Absinthe was taken aback, unable to believe such a thing had worked. She began a few more test rituals, each thing increasingly difficult. Just minor things at first, like asking for flowers or signs. It quickly grew into requesting full on actions, when these minor things did not come to be. Absinthe grew frustrated and weary. The usual nightmares that plagued her nights were twisting into demonic shadows that haunted her during the daytime. At first, she could find something to ground herself and argue with herself until she could remember it was just her own mind. But with Gran and her mother urging these visions on, Absinthe soon lost the battle. She felt lost in her own body and under immense pressure from the two older mares. All she wanted was escape from all of it.

So, she ran.

She ran and forced herself quickly how to live on her own and survive. Sometimes life was hard and sometimes it was amazing. Sometimes, she was lost to her own unwanted thoughts and hallucinations, while sometimes she had a perfect, logical grip. No matter what happened, life went on. She traveled and found very quickly that she was not like others. No one had even heard of the goddess she was raised to be. It was relieving, but also a bit saddening. But Absinthe was new to everywhere she went, she could tell these horses anything she wanted and it'd be the truth to them. So, that's what she did. Without any barriers or anyone to hold her down, Absinthe went out into the world and did exactly what she wanted, whenever she wanted. If she was supposed to be this 'goddess', then by hell, she would be it.